I actually slept last night. Like real sound sleep. Which I haven't done in a week. So, you can imagine when my alarm went off this morning at 6:30, I wasn't feeling it. It was like the entire week had caught up with me and all I wanted to do was sleep the day away.
But I couldn't. I had a race to run.
So, I got dressed in my specially set aside outfit. An outfit that when I asked Kev if I looked cute or lame he responded with "Are those my only two choices?"
I didn't ask him what he meant or give him time to explain. I just told him why I chose what I did and went about my business.
I had chosen my yoga pants. Because #1 I don't have "running" tights/pants/whathaveyou. #2 The pants I normally wear to the gym are oversized elastic waist full length pants ( I make them sound so lovely) and I just knew that it would be frustrating to run in all that fabric. It would weigh me down. #3 I don't have any other reasons.
I clearly need to update my workout apparel. And I will do that when I win the lottery.
Then I had breakfast.
Two pieces of Ezekiel bread with almond butter and bananas. With a drizzle of honey (not pictured because I forgot until I had my first bite)
And a glass of green tea.
I went to the bathroom about eleventy times - ( I'm sure I have mentioned before that I have a major paranoia about going somewhere that I am unsure of their bathroom situations)
And then I headed out on my 30 minute journey to the race location.
I spent the entire drive motivating myself with "You can totally do this" "It will be great" "Stay focused" and "You better finish before "Cry me a river" comes on".
That was my ultimate goal.
And then the problems began. My brain is ALWAYS going a mile a minute. Worrying about EVERY.SINGLE.THING!
I over analyze and strategize and worry and analyze some more.
I'm a complicated person to deal with.
And as soon as I arrived, the negative thoughts started creeping in my head. I was too cold. I don't have good running shoes like every one else. What did I get myself in to? What do I do if I have to go to the bathroom?
Which I did have to. TWICE. In a fifteen minute span of time. ( Luckily, the race was sponsored by a church and they were kind enough to let us use their facilities. Over and over and over)
So, I let out a big sigh. Slapped my face a couple of times to knock some sense in to me. ( I 'm sure I'm a great person to watch if you are into that people watching sort of thing) And took my place at the start.
In the very back. In case I ran too slow.
And then we were off.
I realized pretty quickly that I had chosen the WORST thing to run in. Yoga pants with no elastic or drawstring in a size too big for me PLUS underwear that was two sizes too big... resulted in an immediate malfunction. Which means my pants started to fall down.
I suddenly forgot about my pantyline showing... and just started worrying about how I was going to keep my pants up.
Then the Ipod fell out of it's makeshift holder. And started swinging between my legs. So, I had one hand on my pants/underwear holding them up and the other was trying to wrangle the Ipod and ear buds back on to my body.
Thank goodness for my hat. It helps me disappear to my happy place. Where no one can see me.
I put the Ipod under the left sport's bra strap and the case under the right strap. I was an eighties version of a dysfunctional runner. And I hope that the "shoulder pads" drew the attention away from me lifting up my shirt, pulling hard on my underwear, and then pulling my pants up as high as they would go. Over and over again.
You can imagine how hard it was to focus at this point.
And then we hit the hills. I remembered the first one around mile 2.... but the rest of them? When the heck did I move to Colorado? I felt like it was hill after hill after hill.
The thing with me is that it is VERY hard for me to focus on one thing. My job requires me to multi task constantly... so, when I just have just one task to complete, I have a very hard time with it.
So when it comes to running, it is so hard for me to focus during the first mile...I'm usually thinking of a million other things that need to be done. Until I get in my groove and am able to clear my mind. Then the time seems to fly by.
Except for the only running I have done lately is at the gym, in the DARK theater room, while watching a movie.
And the only movie I saw today was how the crowd of runners in front of me kept getting smaller and smaller and smaller.
But I reminded myself that I was doing this for ME. And it didn't matter what I did as long as I finished.
And then I made the horrific decision to walk for a little bit after mile three - to get myself situated again. ( my "shoulder pads" had moved to awkward places)
Once I started walking, I was NEVER able to get my running groove back. And all of the negative thoughts started flooding back in to my head.
I even ran past my sister's house and debated on just knocking on her door and asking her to hide me until the race was over.
But then I started running along side a man who was 82! He had triple bypass surgery one month ago. AND HE WAS RUNNING! He was out there making the best of it, having a great time, and couldn't care less when or how he finished.
And we became fast friends.
Until he sped up and left me in his dust.
At mile five, a wonderful lady stepped out in to the street to high five me. She was cheering and clapping and screaming. I asked her the time. When she told me, I realized that my goal of completing this race in an hour had been missed. And I guess I looked really disappointed because she immediately said "You are fine! You are doing great! Don't you worry about the time."
Then Journey started playing in my ear. "Don't Stop Believin'". I had Kev put it on my play list because of Laura. She never stopped believin' and it worked out so great for her. So, I hoped it would do the same for me.
And it did. It pepped me up and gave me the energy to run up ANOTHER hill.
Then I heard the words... the words that I had been waiting to hear since the race began.... "You have only got HALF a mile left!! You've got this!" The words were from a police officer that was directing traffic. I smiled so big at him that he had to put his shades on.
And then I heard the first beat of the song "Cry Me A River". And there was NO WAY in heck that I was going to let that song finish before I crossed the line. NO WAY!! I used every last bit of energy to run as fast as my legs would let me. And I crossed the finish. In blubbery, dramatic tears.
But all that mattered was that I beat Justin Timberlake. I made it before he stopped singing.
Thank goodness that is a long song.
I'm sure I was a sight to see. My hat was basically covering my eyes... but I was bawling. For what reason, I don't know. Conquering goals are very emotional for me. And even though I know that a lot of people run 6 miles for breakfast, lunch and dinner - and it is nothing to them - it was still a lot for me. And was my first race since I've started getting back in shape.
Not to mention that I showed the town of Lexington my butt crack.
I bypassed all of the celebration tents and food and people.. and just went straight to my car. I needed to talk to Kev. I did every thing I could to calm myself down. I stretched. I walked back and forth. And breathed deeply.
But as soon as I heard his voice on the other end of the phone... I completely teared up again. He asked me if I was OK. And all I could mumble out was "I walked some of it".
I'm sure at that moment Kev thought we had hit it big. Because my dramatics were going to get me a job on a famous soap opera.
Bless my heart.
But that is one of the reasons that I love him so much. Because he stayed calm. And positive. And maybe laughed a little. And said I should get some good running pants for next time and should train a little more on an incline.
Then I was ALL BETTER. See, I even smiled this time for the camera.