The Excellent Adventures of Kim and Kev

Thursday, May 28, 2009


So much time and thought is put in to a name. How to spell it. How the first, middle, and last names sound together. What do the initials spell? If you put the name in to the "name game" song... will it result in a curse word being sung?

Yep. A lot of thought goes in to a name. And then you meet me and all of your parent's time and planning was for nothing.

Because I LOVE nicknames. And I give them to just about every body.

Sometimes it is a play on your name. Sometimes a description of your personality. And sometimes it is the first word that comes out of my mouth at the moment that I am starting to speak to you.

Sometimes I cannot even control what comes out of my mouth. It is a surprise to me as well. Which is why you should not be offended if I call you a "lady of the night", a "weirdo", or a "butt head". It means I like you.

There are some people that I call the same nick name every single time that I see them. But then there are some that I like to change it up now and then. I might take the first letter of your first name and come up with a word that starts with it. It's pretty bad if you are working a four hour shift with me. You have to stay on your toes and know that I am talking to you. I don't have time for explanations or to repeat myself.

I'm impatient like that.

I hear my name SO much every day. From clients. From people I work with. From construction workers looking for a lunch date. From the FBI. Some days I hear my name so much that I throw up a little bit in my mouth.

Which is why I love to be called nick names too. It changes things up a bit.

Kev understands my name issues and has not uttered my name in 25 years. Actually, I don't even think he knows my name. He calls me many different things. Some of them he probably doesn't ever say out loud. For his safety. And sometimes he calls me to do chores and I pretend I can't hear him regardless of how cute the nickname is.

And I LOVE that my family still calls me Kimberley. It makes me feel young and innocent and loved. Innocent? I haven't been innocent since I was born.

And then there is this little guy......He is my BABY nephew. Mason. Except for I don't think I have ever called him that. It is usually "baby may", "Mase", or "puddin' pants". But on Sunday this little cutie got a new nickname from me....

Office Max.

Because he fell off of the top of some bleachers. And received 6 staples in his head..... (maybe I should have called him "staples")

And as horrible as the situation was. "Office Max" was as brave as can be. Because everyone in my family is resilient.

Going forward, though... I have decided that every child that enters my home will be wrapped in bubble wrap and placed in a padded box. For safety. Children seem to get hurt too often and too easily for my liking.

Even if it does result in them getting a cool nickname!

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