The Excellent Adventures of Kim and Kev

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Mama Said Knock You Out

Does the title sound familiar? Think 1990. Rapper. Six pack. Action movie star? Ring any bells?

If you guessed L.L. Cool J - then you are super hip and probably older than 30... unless you just happen to collect vintage rap/pop/dance albums or visit dance clubs frequently. Was it the "action movie star" hint that I gave that led you to the answer? I was watching Family Feud recently and one of the questions was name the top five action stars. Well the first four were obvious.... but no one could get the last one. BECAUSE it was Mr. Cool J. I cannot even think of an action movie he was in.... and believe me... I watch a ton of movies. Just because you have abs to die for does not mean that you are an action star. Because if that were true... then I would be labeled an action star.

In my dreams.

L.L. has been around for a very long time.... and still looks the exact same. I saw him on an episode of NCIS last week and he hasn't aged a bit. It must be all the intense dance moves. But I am sorry to say that L.L. is NOT the point of this post..... so let's move on!

Boxing. That is the point of this post. My favorite work out. There is something about taking out all your aggressions on a punching bag that brings me peace while getting a great dose of cardio.

I have been obsessed with boxing since I was very young.... and by very young... I mean 3. At least that is the earliest I can remember and also when I officially became a big sister which automatically gave me the title of bully (which some people still call me to this day). My parents tried very hard to get me involved with extracurricular activities... most of which I was uninterested. Until I discovered Suzie.

We were on a family trip to the Smoky Mountains when we came upon a huge bear in a cage with a sign that said "Suzie will box YOU for entertainment". I was intrigued. I talked my parents in to letting me get in the cage. They agreed and put all their money on the bear. Suzie drank a Yoo Hoo. I drank my powdered milk. And the fight was on. I will spare you the details but just tell you that I have been hooked on boxing ever since.

I practiced my craft daily on my siblings. I would put on my Wonder Woman mask and just box away. Don't worry... they have forgiven me for it. I think. When I moved to Columbia, I purchased a pair of Everlast boxing gloves from a middle school kid that lived next door. I was mesmerized by them and count them among my prized possessions.... along with my sombrero.

Then I discovered Tae-bo on an infomercial and I became Billy Blanks' biggest fan. I'm telling you that I have done just about every form of workout possible..... running, bike, weights, step, pogo sticking, and even Mr. Myogi's wax on/wax off technique. I always go back to Tae-bo. I've even got his basic tapes memorized so I say every single word along with him. It is freaky. Once I applied on line to win a trip to be involved in a taping of his exercise class. I didn't get chosen. It was probably because of my angry face. I can't seem to box with a smile and/or my face is permanently stuck on angry. You know how your parents used to tell you to not make such crazy faces because your face would get stuck like that. Well it's true. Anyway, what makes this exercise even better is that Kev will spar with me..... If I promise not to punch him in the face or kick below the "belt". I usually break promises as I've told you before -so we haven't sparred in a while.

Last year, I discovered this incredible documentary show called MADE on Mtv. For those of you "uncool" peeps... it is where you ask to be "made" in to something that is the complete opposite of what you are. Well, you better believe that I hopped on my moped and drove all the way to New York City to visit Mtv headquarters. Before I could even pitch my idea to them I was tossed out on the streets. And then I was heckled by all the Mtv executives (which are all under 21). They yelled things at me like.... "You are way too old to be watching Mtv". "Get out of our business ... you senior citizen". "You smell like denture cream, Fritos and corn dip". "Making you in to a boxer is not an interesting story... because you already have a mean face, skin of leather, bad attitude, and a perfect muscular body". There was nothing else I could do... except accept their kind compliments and head home with my head held high. ( Nice use of words starting with "h" in that sentence). So I did. And Kev filmed me in our own episode of Made which I will be showing on skit night at our next family get together.

And here is my "work space".....

You can tape a picture of whatever ( beetles, roosters, mosquitoes, and bird poop) or whomever (contractors, bosses, clients, people who take up way too much space on the grocery aisles at Walmart so I cannot get my cart through without going the long way around and clowns) you want. It makes for a much better stress relieving experience! Believe me!

Long story short..... Exercising is good but boxing for exercise is GREAT! And if I would just get off this couch and actually exercise instead of writing about it ..... then it would be THE GREATEST!

And just a side note or apology in advance.... due to my "rough housing" and "aggressive" and "physical" nature... I tend to punch people in the arms when I get excited about something. I'm so used to being around Kev who never seems to mind it and actually enjoys it. (I think) So, forgive me... Bethany... when I absentmindedly punch you and you end up limping the rest of the day. It is out of love and not hate.

Up next.... My Favorite Things... Oprah Style!

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