Facing My Fears

I have a lot of fears. From seeing Jason Vorhees walking around my back yard to thinking that someone is hiding in my spare tire hole in my trunk just waiting to crawl out and scare me while I am driving.



I've seen it happen before. On t.v. Which means it is a possibility.



( And yes, I have started checking my trunk before I get in the car. And just in case you were wondering - if I open the trunk and see him in there, I will just yell at him to get out while I hit him over and over again with my purse)



I have a WILD imagination, folks. It keeps me awake at night.



But today's focus was conquering my fear of the dam. The Lake Murray dam. I will go out of my way to not have to drive over it. And if I do go over it, then I spend the entire 2 minute drive picturing the dam crumbling beneath my car OR me just driving right over the side. I have a plan to escape in the case of either of those things happening. Kev even bought me a special tool to break my windshield and we have practice drills every Sunday afternoon.



Once, Kev's Mom told me that if the dam broke - it would wash away the entire city of Columbia. Which is why we keep moving farther and farther away. And why I keep a wet suit with an oxygen tank under my bed. I will swim to safety.

Or become a mermaid. Which ever is easiest.

So, now that I have made my insane behavior completely clear to you - that is, if I already hadn't- I will tell you about my quest to conquer the dam.

It all started with me having the day off and wanting to try something new. I've been going to the gym pretty regularly and while I loveitmorethancheese - I wanted to expand my horizons. Running the dam seemed like the perfect thing to do.

It was rainy in the morning which gave me time to get myself motivated for the task at hand. I truly believe that food is the best motivation ( except for money. That would be the best motivation but since no one has EVER offered me money to do something, I will have to stick with food) so I mixed up a delicious bowl of oatmeal....





Except for this was no ordinary oatmeal. It was whipped banana. With a scoop of fresh pumpkin. Some walnuts. And a drizzle of honey.

Basically it was Fall in a bowl. And boy, was it scrumptious!

With a full belly, Kev's miniature Ipod, and a bottle of water... I made the 30 minute drive to the dam.


It was such a gloomy day. But that meant it was peaceful with hardly any one on the sidewalk. If you look closely at the picture - you can see the dam off in the distance. The ominous 1.7 mile walk across the lake.

I was so ready for this. Except for I already had to pee. And this is where another one of my fears comes in. Some times when I am outside or going to a place that I don't know much about.. I start to worry about being able to find a bathroom. And because I start to worry - it makes me have to go that much more. To the point where I often contemplate just squatting where I stand. Most of the time, I quickly realize that I am in Walmart and I make my way up to the front. But times like last week when I went to the fair, I didn't drink any liquids all day for fear of the bathroom sitch. And it resulted in me looking like shriveled prune by the end of the day.

I was determined to run the pee right out of my mind. Maybe I would sweat it out. But once I made it to the other side, I was beginning to panic. I had two options. I could run across the street to my parent's house. Break in. Use the bathroom. And then get arrested for setting off their alarm. OR I could take a deep breath and walk down the docks and hope for a bathroom. Or large shrub.

And now for facing fear #3. I found a bathroom! ( Hooray!) BUT it was straight out of the horror movie "Sleep away Camp". The movie that I watched with my best friend sitting nose to tv screen in case her mom came in to see what we were watching. ( For you young uns - we didn't have remotes back then which meant you had to sit close to the tv to change the channel) That movie scared me for life.

But having to go to the bathroom out weighs being murdered by an insane preteen. So, I took a deep breath and went in. The whole time I was "going" I had to look up to make sure that no one was climbing over the top of the shed or looking at me through the skylight, or waiting for just the right moment to hit me over the head. It made me dizzy. But I survived. Only because my awareness skills scare off predators.

So, having conquered THREE fears in one day makes a person feel very empowered. Which meant I ended up crossing the dam a total of FOUR times. That is 6.8 miles. Half of a half marathon. It was awesome.

And it felt soooo good to actually use my inner thighs for something more than cracking open nuts for family members during the holidays and opening the occasional jar of pickles.

I even prevailed over the vulture/hawk/crow that was circling over my head the entire time. Just waiting for me to fail. I laughed in the face of that crazy bird that I had no idea what it actually was.

I made it back to my car in one piece. Sweaty and sore - but still one.


And look what was waiting for me. My scrumptious after workout snack of a Kashi pumpkin pecan pie bar and a Honeycrisp apple....

Speaking of honeycrisp apples - UM! THEY ARE INCREDIBLY DELICIOUS! This was the first time I had had one. And I will NEVER eat another type of apple as long as I live.

Unless it is free. Or the last thing to eat on Earth.