The Excellent Adventures of Kim and Kev

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Kev's Favorite Things

Let's face it folks. Even though Kev loves a lot of the same things that I do... he definitely has his own favorites. In fact, I think he would be thrilled if he never saw another can of Febreze again. Even if it was a limited edition scent.

So, to give him a turn to share and to give you an idea of the kind of things he loves to receive as gifts.... I have devoted this edition of "favorite things" to him.

Because I'm generous and like to share.

Every once in a while.

First up on the list is....


Please notice that it is not regular, or spicy, or whatever other random flavors they have out there. But CHEESY. In honor of his jokes and my favorite food.

He keeps it in his work bag, on his lawn mower, in the hidden console in the couch, under the church pew, inside his pillow case, and in a locket around my neck. You never know when he is going to have a snack attack. An attack that involves him doing the hand jive until he is fed.

And as much as I love the hand jive - it is hard to explain to onlookers in public. Therefore I've decided that it is better to be safe than sorry.


When I am home alone... I sit and stare at the wall. In complete quiet. Not because I have been grounded. Or have a headache. Or love the way my walls look.

But because I have absolutely NO idea how to work the insane amount of electronic equipment that seems to take over every room.

If you think that I am exaggerating then you are ridiculous.

Because this is what I have to navigate to turn on anything.....

This is just for one tv in one room. Would you like for your seat to vibrate? For a robot to bring you a drink? For a leprechaun to sing you a lullaby? To watch tv?

You have any of those capabilities with the remotes pictured above. But I couldn't give you a clue as to how to make any of your wishes come true. Because I literally sit in my chair and push random buttons until something happens. Good or bad. Because at least I've made something happen. Right?

How about going to another room? Would it be easier there?

Um. Absolutely NOT. There are even more remotes in this room. Once when Kev had gone to sleep.... Dave, Bethany, and I were looking through his desk in search of something that I'm sure was going to get us in to trouble. And we discovered a large drawer at the bottom that was literally filled to the top with old remotes. Like 25 of them. And we named this drawer the "remote control graveyard" and we had it added to a world map and ensured it was spoken of in History class.

Because it was like finding the eighth wonder of the world.

Of nonsense.


He has been a fan of horror movies since the day he was born. In fact, rumor has it that he was delivered wearing a hockey mask. And his first toy was a machete.

I'm just stating the facts here, folks. I tell it like it is.

So, you can imagine his delight when this movie was placed in to his hands.....
It is not just any Friday the 13th. IT IS IN 3-D! And you better believe that there will be some kind of themed party surrounding the viewing of this masterpiece.

I'll probably have to work that night.

And now... just to reinforce how much of a horror movie fanatic he is.....

Yep, those are ALL horror movies. And he purposely waits until it gets dark to watch them. And then reenacts everything that he just watched for me when I get home. To make extra sure that I never sleep again. In case Freddy Krueger is coming to get me.

He's just doing his job. As a concerned husband.

And that is why I NEVER go to camp with a group of promiscuous teens, shower with the curtain closed, sleep in the dark when I'm alone, open strange puzzle boxes, get in to a bed without looking underneath it first, get in a car without checking in the back seat, or buy creepy looking evil boy dolls.

He has taught me a lot.

He is cool like that.

And now you know a little more of Kev's story.

No comments:

Post a Comment