The Excellent Adventures of Kim and Kev

Friday, July 31, 2009

Cucumber Anyone?

This is your official warning that this post might shock you. Might send you in to a tail-spin. Might give you nightmares.

About garden food.

At least I think it is garden food. I have yet to try it.

You see.... my Dad has had a garden ever since I was an egg in my Mom's belly. Except for that may be a little bit of an exaggeration as I don't think he actually started his garden until I was three.

I just get a kick out of saying "an egg in my Mom's belly". I'm "TMI" like that.

Anyway.... His garden has always been his pride and joy. Kind of like another child. Or a pet that can do tricks. He feeds it, waters it, takes naps with it, and sings it country music.

They have such a special bond that some times I can't even tell them apart. Kind of like when you start to look like your dog.

It's true. And I know you know what I am talking about.

This garden thrives EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR. It supplies the entire Lake Murray community with it's delicious veges. It supplies my family with it's veges. It makes me dream of the day when I can create such an incredible garden. Especially tomatoes. I would be thrilled if I could just grow some tomatoes.

And herbs. And squash. And corn. But mainly tomatoes.

However, it is a known fact that the only skills/talents that I got from my Dad is my ability to make people laugh and abundant hair growth.

So, unless the garden will grow because of my joke telling.... I will be depending on my Dad for produce.

And now for the point of this story......

My parents are going on their weekly trip and they needed someone to take the excess veges from them. So, my Mom stopped by work the other day with a plastic bag. I should have known that something was up because she had a stranger helping her carry the bag. They were both out of breath upon arriving in the store.

And then she opened the bag and showed "it" to me. I say "it" because I still have not verified that this vegetable is actually a cucumber......

I immediately took a picture of it with a pencil (for comparison) and sent it to Kev. This cucumber weighs about 5 pounds. It is so obnoxiously large that it should truly be in a county fair gardening contest.

Which is why I am hosting one in my back yard today. I'm all about winning prizes. And since my Dad is out of town.... the recognition will go to me.

But let me guess.... you can't really grasp the idea of how huge this cucumber is. Can you? So, I took another picture with the biggest cucumber I could find at the grocery store.......

Kev can build his biceps with it. We can hollow it out and ride down the river Huckleberry Finn style. I could glue it on to the side of the house and we could have an extra bathroom. The possibilities are endless.......

Are you still not sure how big it is? Because I took another picture....

There. I hope that satisfies your curiosity.
After brainstorming for hours on what we were going to do with it. We finally decided on....
Making cucumber sandwiches for lunch. And calling it a day.
I hope the taste impresses me as much as the size.
I can't wait to see how big his watermelon turns out to be.

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