Back To Reality

Eight pounds heavier. Skin that is the texture of a 1980's leather jacket - brown, cracked, rough and sequined. A craving for goldfish crackers and raspberry Firefly. A horseshoe championship. 673 pictures. One thousand incredible memories.

These are the accessories I returned home with. And I couldn't be happier.

Except for returning home means that the trip is over. It means that my family has been disbursed to far away lands and different time zones. It means that we are all back at work.

Work.

The hardest thing that I've ever had to do was go back to work today. Even harder than the time that I walked 16 miles. In the snow. Barefoot. In lingerie. With Kev on my back. He is afraid of snow - you know. And the abdominal snowman (or you may know him as abominable depending on where you went to school). But that will have to be a story for another time.

Anyway, the point that I am trying to make here is that I had an absolutely incredible trip. And I have more stories that you could ever imagine... or may ever want to imagine after you hear about some of them.

But you will have to be patient with me. Just like you were with the "airport story". Except for that I haven't finished it yet. I'm obnoxious like that. Or scatterbrained. You decide.

Regardless... here are a couple of subjects to tide you over.....

Kareoke, Arabs, The Tall People, Vacation Kev, Singing Cowboys, Chicken Tetrazzini, Crazy Sharks, Taco and Friola, Jackpot (said out of the side of your mouth), Diaper Changes, "In the Showa", Sleeping Parents, Orange Ade, Cadywhampus, Swimsuit Swapping at Sea, Strangers, Yoink, The Groin, Potty Hands and Sexy Walks.

These subjects are just a sampling of what happened during the trip. I will do my best to tell you about them - possibly changing a name or two to protect the innocent - if you can consider any of us innocent - after this trip.

And now I will introduce my family to you. All 18 of us. I love them. I just can't help it.