No need to be jealous of this beauty.... that's what you get for a dollar - literally- she is fresh from the Pawn Shop where dreams really do come true! She (it's really a boy bike but who really cares) was waiting for me in the garage when I got home last night.... and you can imagine my surprise and fear. For those of you who don't know... I have an issues with bikes. They have mostly been my enemies for as far back as I can remember.... and you better believe I'm going to tell you all about it....
It all started back when I was a kid... just a couple of years ago... we lived in Alabama and had finally moved to a neighborhood where the streets were safe for riding. Now I don't mean that we lived in an unsafe place such as "Mad Max beyond the Thunderdome"... but we lived on a HUGE hill and by huge I mean GINORMOUS. It was dangerous to ride bikes on - we could ride sleds, though... but that story is for another time. Anyway, we had just moved to Cobblestone Lane - the lane where some of the fondest memories I have were created. My Mom was determined to teach me how to ride - I was probably around 10 or so. It was such a stressful day as I am NOT coordinated - at many things such as tennis, volleyball, or kung fu fighting. But I remember my Mom telling me that I couldn't eat again until I had learned to ride. Sometimes that threat wouldn't be so bad ( even though I love to eat)... like if we were having grit soup or beets... but that night I'm pretty sure we were having good stuff because I learned to ride and would "brake" by rolling up in someone's yard and falling over.
I got better and better at riding my bike... except for when I would ride to my piano lessons ( a couple of streets over) and these two horribly evil doberman pinchers would chase me. Have you ever had your ankles bitten by dogs as you are riding for your life? I'm getting the shakes just thinking about it. I would have to call my Dad to come pick me and my bike up. We would ride back by the stupid dogs and call them names like "jerks and buttholes" - basically the names you would call people back in the day.
Fast forward a couple of years to THE ACCIDENT... the one that shook my brain around. I'm not sure if it had lasting effects or not. I could have been born this crazy. See, back then there was no such thing as bike helmets. I mean.... why on earth would I have wanted to hide my hairdo? So, I was trying to be a nice sister ( which was something I didn't do very often) and I was pulling a wagon behind me full of my sibs ( which seemed like I had millions). The wagon was tied with a rope to my back wheel. As the wheel turned, the rope got caught which caused me to fly over the handle bars into the pavement. Well, maybe I didn't fly... just fell off... but I have NO recollection of the accident so I can make up whatever I want. Ambulance, losing sight, crazy mumblings, regaining sight, concussion, and a hospital stay were all of the things that followed. Did I mention that my Mom had JUST gotten home from the hospital with sibling #25. How convenient was that? It is always a fight for attention in my family. Now you know why I have been shaky on bikes ever since....
Bike story #3... A couple of years ago we decided that we wanted to get bikes so we could ride together at the beach. Kev did all kinds of research on what would be the best bike for me. Well, I had to have a "procedure" done on my esophagus and Kev took the day off to be with me. He told me that if I was brave then he would take me to get a bike. Let me just tell you that I HATE hospitals and doctors. I especially hate the idea of being "put under" or drugged for any reason. I do not like having my private parts available to people I don't really know when I can't control myself. Kev says it really shouldn't matter because I won't know what happened anyway... so who cares. But I WILL know.... I just will. So... brave I was NOT. I cried and cried and cried to the point where I made myself sick. I think the doctor and nurses thought I was a looney tune and by looney tune I mean INSANE! I do have to say that they were all awesome and did a great job... in case you ever need your esophagus dealt with. Ok.. so procedure is over, I take a nap waiting for the medication to wear off, and then we are off to Target to get my bike. This trip NEVER should have happened. #1 I acted RIDICULOUS at the doctor's office. #2 I still had some medication in me and was not thinking straight. Kev shows me the bike he picked out and told me all the reasons why it would be good for me. And then I pointed to a shiny purple one and said "I like that one better". I truly picked it for color and not for quality. Of course, he got me what I wanted. We took it to the beach... I got on it for a second... I fell when I tried to turn it and I never got back on it again. Just for the record though... it was a pretty crappy, impossible to balance on bike. My brother even tried to ride it without much luck - and he is a MARINE! Kev sold the bike - for much less than we got it for - and I decided that I didn't like the color purple ( not the movie... I'm sure the movie is fine... just the color).
We are FINALLY to present day... I'm sure you are relieved. So, the bike is named "Ricochet" - sounds pretty cool. It is green ... a little rusted... and the gears don't work ( but who really uses the gears anyway). I took it out in the driveway and was shaking horribly as I tried to get on it. Kev actually held the bike and helped me get on. He was going to run behind me while I was riding it but everytime I would start to pedal.. he would start giving me pointers - meaning he was talking - which would make me nervous and I would stop. Finally we took it in the back yard and I got up the nerve to ride it around on the grass. There was a rule though.... No falling off and getting hurt because he did not want to take me to the ER while I was in my Mickey pjs. Yes, I was riding around on my bike in my backyard with my pajamas on. Give me a break... I live in the country. You can even swim/layout nude if you want.... I'm not necessarily admitting that I do that... but I could and maybe I will. Just make sure you call us before you come out during the summer... or you might get a surprise that you never wanted to receive. So, I had a really good time on the bike... and I kept riding circles around him while he was trying to work in the yard. I'm crazy like that.
On to the next adventure.....
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