So I've been really "off" this week..... grouchy, grumpy, no energy, and irritated. Kev would say that this is not being "off" but being my normal self.... but I can tell a difference. I lost my funny... the thing that makes me laugh throughout every day. Kev tried everything.... tea, telling jokes, tap dancing for me... but nothing worked - Until I figured out what was causing my funk. This was the week of Friday the 13th - besides me being VERY superstitious... Jason caused many a nightmare and fear in my household growing up and still to this day. AND it is not just any Friday the 13th.... his new movie is being released! I have had to put up with Kev singing Jason's theme song ( ha ha ha kill kill kill .... with a very breathy voice) and cheering his movie on nightly. All of that can really do a number on a person!
With anger I wondered how could he be back? Isn't he in space or something? Is Freddy Kruger coming back with him?.... they had a duel you know. How did he find a hockey mask at a summer camp on the lake..... Does that seem normal to anyone? Then I realized that the NEW Friday the 13th is a remake of the classic 1980's horror flick... and by horror flick I mean the movie that started my fears of being stabbed through the bottom of the bed while I am sleeping - which is why we have a platform bed so I can sleep in peace! I am not even joking -I have seen it happen before and it does not look like fun! If I am staying in a hotel, I have to check under the bed before I will get in and sometimes I run and jump in so my ankles won't be grabbed. It's a sickness - I know.
Now, I did not see this movie when it was released - I had just been born - kind of. I'm pretty sure that I watched it at a slumber party a couple of years later which I'm sure resulted in me sucking my thumb and hiding in the bottom of my sleeping bag. And then it just became an obsession - a way to be "cool" ( like my stirrup pants, leg warmers, and teased hair ). My friends and I would watch or rent every single horror movie we could get our hands on. I became afraid of camp, sleeping, opening a strange looking box, saying Candyman in the mirror, and playing with scary boy dolls ( or any dolls with creepy faces).....and I still have all of these fears!
I have watched many a movie from behind my hands, a pillow, a Wonder Woman mask, ski goggles or my computer. Even though I cannot see what is happening... I will still jump when someone screams or scary music starts to play. Kev on the other hand... can watch these movies without even blinking an eye. He loves them... thinks they are funny. In fact, we have an entire shelving unit dedicated to his horror movie collection. I could barely even organize them on the shelves without constantly looking over my shoulder. I probably should have just mixed them in with the comedies and Kev wouldn't even know the difference. Here is just a small ...and by small I mean hardly any ....of his horror movie collection. Notice the sequels - remember that makes for a great movie in Kev's book.
It is not just me.... most of my siblings are afraid of these things as well. Do you think this made us be caring and understanding of each others fears?.... NO WAY! This only added to the situation because we ( I ) did everything in our power to scare the other ones. I would put on a mask and chase the other ones around, turn off the light and close the door so it would be pitch black, jump out from behind furniture.... basically all of the things that if someone did them to me I would have passed out and had to be committed. I did not ask to be a big sister - the role was given to me and with that role came the responsibility to torture the others... it's a known fact. But don't you worry... I have received payback. Once when I was little my Dad was watching The Shining. He specifically told me that I was NOT allowed to watch the movie. Well when someone says "not allowed" - I say "I can do it if I want to". So, I watched from behind the couch. Well, he is smarter than he looks... and he knew I was defying him. Fast forward to Saturday morning.... I'm minding my own business... watching cartoons in the dark... and my Dad comes around the corner dragging an axe and saying "redrum". Nice! It DEFINITELY taught me a lesson.... I was scared to death! ... but it did not stop me from watching scary movies.. and because of it I jump at every noise. Kev can just walk in to a room to ask me a question and I will jump 10 feet in the air if I didn't know he was coming. I have to thoroughly inspect every room I am sleeping in. I ALWAYS have an escape plan. I sleep with a light on if I'm ever alone. You get the point....
So, it's Friday the 13th.... I've had a tough day.... I just want to get home, get my jammies on and relax. I know what you are thinking.... shouldn't we be having a "theme dinner" to celebrate Friday the 13th's release? NO WAY! First of all, we only celebrate things that we BOTH like and second of all.... what kind of food do you serve at a Friday the 13th movie premiere party?... eyeballs and guts? GROSS! So, I'm in the kitchen and I looked out the windows and I see something moving in the dark! I immediately hid behind Patsy Cline....( oh, I just realized I forgot to tell you about our newest addition... a palm tree named Patsy Cline - she takes up a ton of space but we love her anyway) and grabbed my camera - of course. And this was the picture that I took....
Jason was actually walking through our back yard!! Now my first reaction was to scream for Kev and run for cover.... but then I realized that I was safe because #1. I am not a camp counselor #2 I was not nude or doing anything inappropriate. He continued to walk through our yard and in to the woods... definitely on a mission. Hopefully he did not find what he was looking for! He did look quite sexy from the back, though.
Hopefully you all had a LUCKY Friday the 13th!
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