The Excellent Adventures of Kim and Kev

Thursday, March 12, 2009

What's Red, Crusty, and Tastes Good Dipped in Butter?

You are wrong if you guessed a lobster. The answer is me. That's what you get for sitting in the sun too long. Well, actually I am half lobster/half pale human. ( That sounds like a character on one of Kev's Sci Fi shows. ) Really only half of me sat in the sun too long.... the other half was shaded. That peculiar "laying out" technique resulted in me having one extremely burned leg, arm, left side of stomach, left side of neck, and left foot. This isn't the first time I achieved this look. Once when I was cruising the local Waffle House on a Friday afternoon... I had one arm and one leg hanging out the window... you know.. just to be cool. It resulted in this same kind of burn. I don't know if it is better to tell folks that I have no idea how to lay out properly or if I was cruising downtown Gaston again. I feel doomed either way. I've always had issues with the sun.... I can't ever seem to get an even tan. There are always hand prints of sunblock, weird stripes, strange patterns.... It is just how I roll.

I have been off for the last two days.... and it has been amazing! See... I have this little problem called insomnia. Well, it's more of a big problem.... so much so that Kev created a chart to motivate me to sleep. Every night that I could stay in the bed for the entire night... I would get a star. (He also created another chart to motivate me to stop wetting the bed.... but that story is for another time ) If I could get just one week of stars... then I would get a prize. Well, let's just say that I have NEVER received a prize.... for sleeping or for not wetting the bed. There is nothing I can do about it.... except to relax and not have anything to drink after 8pm. My mind is always going a mile a minute. The tiniest piece of info can get me going.... and it takes forever to shut it down. When I was little, I was always afraid of falling asleep ( thanks Freddy Krueger) and my Mom would tell me to think happy thoughts.... like puppies, balloons, cupcakes, Kevin break dancing... etc. She said it would relax me. I still try doing this to this day... but all it does now is make me want a puppy, wish I had a helium tank, want to eat, and to perform the "worm" perfectly in hopes that I can join Kev's break dancing crew - "Kool Kev and the Kardboard Kats". Seriously though, it can be about work, family, our house..... even something as simple as a tv show. We always watch E! News right before we fall asleep... and last night they announced that a major character on LOST will be killed off. Kev said... "there goes your sleep". He was right.
The point that I'm trying to make here is that my days off are crucial to my survival. And having two days in a row ( which is out of the ordinary) is even better. That means I have one day for catching up on sleep and one day for accomplishing my chores. Yesterday was sleep and rest day. I never even left the house. This is who I spent my day with....

His name is Doodles the Dolphin. Kev got him for me last year. He takes the place of Bethany since she moved away to Florida. The plus side of Doodles is that he not only keeps me company.... but he also chlorinates the pool (and he doesn't get water everywhere when he goes to the bathroom). Bethany could not ever seem to do that even though she tried.... Sangria is not the same as chlorine!

I also saved a caterpillar's life yesterday! It was one of those cute and fuzzy caterpillars... the kind that looks like they are constantly smiling. It kept crawling to the edge of the pool and would look in... except one time he lost his grip and slipped right in. I immediately ran over and scooped him out. My plan was to give him mouth to mouth... but one look at my teeth headed in his direction scared him back to life. He smiled at me and crawled away. My sisters used to LOVE those caterpillars when we were little. They filled a bucket full of them.... and then carried them in the house. It just happened to be a Wednesday and we had to get to church so the caterpillar bucket was left on the floor of their bedroom. No harm in that... right? WRONG! When we got home... they were everywhere!! Even weeks later, my Mom was still finding them inside of clothes in their dresser drawers. Now that I think about it... two days after the incident I had a new sister.... coincidence? I mean my Mom was birthing babies every other day... but I don't remember helping her with this one. Is this why Kristen only eats leaves?

This was my other responsibility today..... finding a cure for Peachy Keen!

She is our peach tree. We did not realize that we had a peach tree until last year (The first year that we lived here there was a late freeze in the Spring and all of our blooms died). Can you even imagine my delight that I had a peach tree in my back yard. There are SOOOO many things you can do with peaches - but eating them is my favorite! I waited all summer to make a peach cobbler.... but when I finally went to make it... we realized that the peach tree had not been properly cared for and all of the peaches were rotten. Except for the ones that my Dad ate ... right off the tree... before they were ripe. Remember... he is from Kentucky. So, this year, Kev gave me the responsibility to find out how to care for the tree. We can make a pretty penny selling peaches at the pawn shop... don't you think? Well, I went to Lowe's today and talked to a guy who knows about peaches and he sold me some nonsense spray that I hope works. That and apparently spraying the trunk with white latex paint makes a difference. Paint flavored peach cobbler... YUM! I also want to point out that the people who lived here before us planted a palm tree right underneath the peach tree. That ridiculousness will give you a tiny glimpse in to how they did everything with this house. They are both gorgeous trees... but unfortunately are in the middle of a duel for survival because they are crashing in to one another. Wait until you see Peachy Keen fully bloomed. She is so pretty!

Since I never made it out of the house yesterday.... I am just now getting around to baking my Butterfinger cake and breakfast casserole. We are having it tonight and looking forward to it. You better believe I will write about the deliciousness of it in my next post.

And last but not least... I just wanted to tell you how much enjoyment I have gotten out of writing this blog. It has been so much fun to remember and discuss experiences from my childhood... not only with family members but with friends (especially Christen Reed with whom I have discovered several similiarities in our upbringing even though we are 30 years apart in age - how cool is that!). It has also been great letting you in to our crazy but wonderful lives... not to mention that I have been able to prove that Kev exists. See, I'm not crazy... mostly. Anyway, thanks for reading!

Up next.... yummy food, KFed, and the circus comes to town!

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