The Excellent Adventures of Kim and Kev

Monday, April 26, 2010

Too Many Chores

Pretend it is Monday, April 5th. Because in my mind it is. And it was the beginning to one of the BEST weeks EVER.

Monday was crucial to the success of the week.

I sprung out of bed with a spring in my step.... make that a limp due to retail feet. And actually, I did not "sprung out of bed" because - as every one knows- I move quite slowly and rudely until I get a vat of my morning mud tea.

But I was super excited none the less. After I drank my tea.

I had lists, folks. Lists upon lists upon lists. I had lists for what needed to be accomplished each day. And by what time. I had to-do lists. And grocery lists. Lists for what clothes I was going to wear for each event. Lists for what meals would be prepared. Basically, I had a list for every single thing I did that week - except for when I could go to the bathroom.

( I had to go back and add bathroom breaks to my daily lists after I learned my lesson in a local grocery store. It seems the "clean up on aisle 7" was not in their job description and therefore I was banned for life)

I work well off of lists. It is something about crossing things off that makes me feel incredibly productive. Even if my list is simply: Eat, nap, eat, watch tv, nap.

I'm starting to think I was a cat in a past life.

Anyway, the point is that I had a plan for the next couple of days. Until Kev "pretty please" requested some help with yard work. And I had to reschedule about 5 hours of to-doing. He wanted me to pull a couple of weeds in his rock beds. AND pick up pine cones in the front yard.

It makes me sweat just thinking about it. Not to mention that the entire outside world was covered in a blanket of pollen. And it was hot.

For some (most) people, they could have accomplished this simple request in 30 minutes. But I am not some (most) people. I had to find special gloves. I had to take 11 water breaks. I had to stop and wave at all of the cowboys that honked at me when they drove by. ( Ok - so maybe they weren't cowboys - but this is my dream world that I live in... so, let me believe it). And I had to call Kev after every completed chore and tell him what a good and helpful girl I was.

I need constant attention. It is a burden to those around me.

And just for good measure ( and hopes of a thank-you gift)... I cleaned the pool. Half way. Because I can't seem to remember how to use the vacuum. Even though Kev has shown me 77 times. His voice is like a soothing 80's ballad. So unfortunately for him, when he talks for long periods of time - like how to use the pool vacuum - I tend to reminisce of the old days. When Bret Michaels rocked my world. And I start humming "Every Rose Has It's Thorn".

It is a proven medical condition. 80's music coma. I only tell the truth on this blog - so you have to believe me.

And here is proof that I actually worked outside in the yard - just in case it looked like I hadn't really done anything.....

Notice the bottom of my jeans ( yes, I wore extra long, hot jeans to work outside) are covered in pollen. COVERED. And my Rainbow flip flops.... well, they have never been seen again. They are not allowed back in the house for various reasons.

Maybe my "gardening" outfit was the reason I was being honked at. And not the fact that I had on a t-shirt that said "Honk if you think I look ridiculous".

After "gardening", I went to the grocery store. And had an absolute melt down when I was innocently perusing the ice cream freezer section and came across this:

"Holy Caramel Yumminess!" Is what I yelled out. This is only my FAVORITE coffee at Starbucks. And caramel is only my FAVORITE flavor. And ice cream is only my FAVORITE soft food. And let me tell you something..... it was INCREDIBLE!! I planned to savor it throughout the week. It lasted 30 minutes. I even let some dry on my upper lip so I could smell it's sweetness for the rest of the day.

Thank you Starbucks!!

Luckily I purchased it BEFORE my "clean up on aisle 7" incident. Which shall never be spoken of again.

Caramel Macchiato ice cream has officially made it to the "things I want to eat and do for my fortieth birthday". ( It is a weird, random list - trust me. You may not want to be around when it happens)

And for supper that night ( I love saying supper instead of dinner. It makes me feel like a sweet innocent Southern girl).... well, we had The Pioneer Woman's Rib Eye Steak with whiskey cream sauce, twice baked potatoes, and Rosemary/ sea salt rolls. AND CAN I JUST TELL YOU... that it was OUT OF THIS WORLD - LIKE TOTALLY. My eyes rolled back in the back of my head for like 2 hours.

Which thankfully got me out of cleaning the kitchen... it was a disaster.

You can go to for all of the recipes. If you haven't been there yet - then I am so sorry for your eating experiences. Because she has changed us forever.

And on a side note - this was my first time EVER to get yeast bread to rise!! The rolls are basically from scratch and I can't tell you how many times (53) I have gone to lift the towel off of the supposedly risen bread to see a tiny lump of crust in the bottom of the pan. For some reason it worked this time. It could have been the begging. Or maybe it was the threats. You know... like threatening the dough that it will be put down a garbage disposal to an untimely death. Have you never done that? Well, it works. Obviously.

And just to let you know how supportive Kev is of my cooking.... well, the minute he got home from work, I lifted the towel to show him what risen rolls should look like. And he squealed with delight. ( He wants me to tell you that it wasn't a girl squeal - but a very manly squeal. It involved big muscles. And The Ultimate Fighting Championship was playing on tv in the background) I finally conquered his last requirement to being a great wife. Getting my bread to rise.

And due to the delightfulness that was our SUPPER. I have NO pictures. You are just gonna have to trust me. Or check out the website. Or wait for me to make it again.

Because I will.

Up Next.... The Cookout

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