Lizards and Pigs

My lack of posting this past week has been due to one time consuming activity.....

Interviewing feet to take the place of the ones of mine that left town. Forever. They left a note saying it had something to do with the incredibly stupid shoes that I wear to work daily. I think the high heeled black boots did them in.

I guess it should have been a sign when all of the nail places in town locked their doors when they saw me coming. Or when Kev put on gloves, a doctor's mask, and goggles to help me remove my cowboy boots.

It is called FASHION. And it is painful. And sometimes stinky.

Anyhoo... I have decided to "flash back" and "flash forward" for the next week or so. Kind of like an episode of LOST. That means that you are going to have to pay close attention and read something several times to understand what month I am telling stories from. It takes a lot of focus, late night discussions with loved ones, and possibly themed dinner parties to acknowledge the season premiere or finale.

I love that show LOST. But it exhausts my brain to watch it. Kind of like algebra, geometry, counting cards, and 3rd grade math.

Luckily for you... this post is about present day.

That means you don't have to pay such close attention.

Do you remember Froggles? My loving, considerate, precious pet. Well, he hopped away. Literally. And he took my heart with him.

It has been rumored that he is hanging around the garage area. And that he may or may not have had babies. "He had babies" being the awkward part of the sentence. But this is Gaston. And you will only survive out here if you do NOT ask any questions.

Unfortunately, I do not venture in to the "garage area" much because that means I would have to talk about tools, yard work, and even kick a tire or two. Therefore, i will probably never see him again.

That is why I have found a new pet.....


Meet Leonard. He lives on my kitchen window sill. Specifically in one of the top window panes. He is adventurous and daring. And I'm pretty sure that he loves me more than Froggles did.

This is Leonard hanging upside down. Afraid of nothing.

And just in case you don't believe me. I took another pic from outside. Just to show you how high up he is. Trying to be as close to me as possible....

I hope he will join us for our Halloween party. I got the cutest crocodile costume for him to wear.

And then there is my constant longing for an indoor pet. One that doesn't chew up things, or poop, or eat socks, or shed hair.

I think I have finally found THE ONE....

A teacup piglet! How cute can something possibly be!! It wears me out to think about how much this sweet little piggy would love living in my house. I would feed it miniature corn on the cob - just like the ones you see in Asian stirfrys. I would read it Charlotte's Web. I would teach it to make my tea in the morning ( it is a "teacup" pig after all).

I would name it Bacon Bit.

And we would live happily ever after.....

The Little Sweet Pea....Lillian Marie

Let me just start by asking you if you remember this beautiful lady......


She is my cousin.... Angela Gallup. She lives at the beach. She got me in to the world of blogging. She taught me how to make the most delicious tomato basil sandwiches. She is the most amazing person. She is married to Clay... and together they have the most incredible relationship that receives much admiration and respect. By all.

It is always necessary to use the word "most" a bunch when you are telling people about Angela and Clay. Because you can put that word in front of just about every good adjective and it fits.

It also works in front of adjectives describing me. Except for they don't turn out as nice. Like... "Kim is the most craziest person I know". And "Kim sweats the most".

Anyway, let me just reiterate how much I love them. And I love this beautiful picture of her at 9 months pregnant and ready to deliver.

And I impatiently waited ALL DAY on September 3rd, 2009 for their sweet baby girl to be born. And she finally was.... around 6pm. And her name is Lillian Marie. And I am officially in love.

We had the pleasure of visiting them a couple of weeks ago. And let me just tell you right now that holding this incredibly precious baby in my arms gave me so much happiness. So much joy. So much thankfulness. And so much peace.

Here is the beautiful, wonderful mother... Angela



And my mother... Suzanne

My sister Kristen....

And me......

I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Until she made a noise. And then I got scared. Because everything that I ever learned growing up has disappeared in to the land of nothingness. And the only skills that were left behind were how to wear multiple accessories, have themed dinners, and cook large quantities of food.

But Miss Lillian didn't mind a bit. She was patient with me and let me hold her for as long as I wanted to. She even fell asleep....

And I cannot wait to be a part of this sweet little angel's life. And she can call me "Aunt Kim" or "Cousin Kim" or anything else that makes her happy. Because, honestly, I have no idea how we are related. I was taught about my family tree when I went to school in Alabama. And we all know that Alabamians get very confused over family trees and who you can and can't marry.

But that is a story for another time.... Because right now... I'm just happy to be a part of her life!

Unfortunately, I did not get a picture of her nursery. And let me just tell you right now that it is a work of art! So, you better get out a pen and paper and write this name down:

Carrie Morris.

Because she is going to be famous one day and sell her work all over the world. And I will be first in line to buy it.

This day was definitely a highlight in my life.... and I cannot wait to see Miss Lillian again!

Congrats to Angela and Clay... and their families!

A Brother + Bling = A New Sister

Once upon a time.


On September 15, 1982.


My sweet brother was born.

Born to a family full of girls.

And we thought he was the greatest thing that ever happened to our family.

So, we took his first baby picture and shared it with the world.....


Because we just knew that he was going to be something special. And he was. And he is.

And he grew up and met this beautiful lady....

Laura Wolfe.

And she is delightful, TALL, coordinated, talented, TALL, witty, smart, and just plain fabulous.

And she has the same first name and initials as my childhood idol.... Laura Ingalls Wilder.

And that means that she is something special and hopefully knows about living on the prairie.

So, we fell in love with her and hoped that she was "the one"

And then Laura took Dave on a trip to Asheville to celebrate his 27th birthday.

AND THEY GOT ENGAGED!

And it was one of the happiest moments of my life. I couldn't even imagine a better match for Dave.... or a better person to become my new sister. And I showed my happiness through gallons of tears, some tears, and maybe a little bit of tears. Because that is what I do.

And then I screamed it out my window and yelled it out at anyone who passed by my house. And then I whispered it in to a paper bag. To ensure it was kept a secret until I was given permission to share the news.

But then I just told every one that I knew any way. Because that is what a proud sister does.

CONGRATULATIONS DAVE AND LAURA!! We love you and wish you all the best!

I'M BACK... With My Favorite Things

Well, it seems that I succeeded in my goal to not post anything for A WHOLE ENTIRE MONTH. Except for that was not EVER my goal and I am so disturbed on my lack of story telling that I have punished myself by not brushing my teeth today.

Except for ... let's just be honest... that is not really a punishment for me as it is for Kev. And truth be told, he has nothing to do with my non-blogging and every thing to do with my survival of the month of September.

I've decided that he is a keeper.

And that I want him to dress as Wolverine for Halloween. But that is another story for another time.....

So here is the thing.... I am only 17 posts away from hitting my 100 mark. ONE HUNDRED POSTS. Of nonsense. And food. And true stories. Mostly. And I have a LOT of catching up to do. My brain is so full of September events that I can't even put on my favorite ball cap today. Or wash my hair.

And that is just unacceptable.

I have experienced babies being born, birthdays, engagements, parties, minor surgery, family, family and more family. And did I mention that I experienced TONS of family in the month of September? Cause I did.

And I have extra wrinkles and gray hair to prove it. Both of which are not allowed in my line of work. Which reminds me that I'm in the market for a wig and some inexpensive botox injections.

(I'm crossing my fingers that they come in to the pawn shop.)

Regardless of my current state of looking older than I am and being dirty, I decided to kick off my return to blogging with a "my favorites" and will then go back and "re-hash" all of the excitement of September.

Your break of "not reading my nonsense" is officially over.....

And I thank you for sticking with me and checking in from time to time.....

And finally the point of this super long, rambling post.....

My Favorite Things!

Um.... so, IT IS FALL people!! Who in this world does not LOVE Fall. More specifically a Southern Fall. Because that is the best kind. As are Southern girls, Southern cooking, and Southern accents... Y'all.

I could seriously write an entire post with 100 numbered reasons on why I love Fall.... but due to time being precious and the fact that I cannot count to 100... I decided to break it up and do multiple favorite things each week.

So, you are just going to have to be patient and understanding. Because I know that you are sitting on the edge of your seats right now to know what makes my skirt fly up.

#1. PUMPKIN SPICE FRAPPACINO - STARBUCKS.


Holy Batman! This delicious coffee drink is my life line in the Fall. It is what lets me know that the seasons have changed. It is what tells me that I may or may not have to shave over the next couple of months because I will be wearing lots of jeans, tights, tall boots, and scarves.

Except for I wear all of that stuff year round. And I don't ever really shave. So, forget the point I am trying to make about coffee's relationship with my abundance of hair.

You have never tasted a more delicious, delectable drink in all of your lives. And I know this because I checked with your parents, your spouses, your preachers, and your dentists. And they all assured me that this drink would knock your socks off.


No need to thank me. I am here to improve your happiness.

#2. APOTHECARY JARS WITH FAKE FRUIT.

Ok. This may not really be a "Fall thing" but I just got the jars and they are the new loves of my life. And yes, it is normal to love jars full of fake fruit. Because Pier 1 says so.

I have looked and looked at these jars for months. And after weeks of therapy, I was finally able to make my decision. And there is just something about them that makes me think of Fall, and coziness, and lemon-apple ice cream, and plastic.

And they make me want to be a better person.

And stuff more things in clear jars.

#3. HALLOWEEN AT DISNEY.

Don't let this picture fool you. That is the REAL Mickey and Minnie Mouse. And not me and my sister. But I wanted to give you a sneak peek as to what is coming this month in addition to a very special person's 60th birthday celebration. And it WILL be happening on Halloween. And I WILL be dressed in a costume even though I have gray hair and wrinkles. And I WILL have the time of my life.

And I WON'T forget my gloves this time.

Up next.... The "rock" that "rocked" my world.

L To The J. Celebrating His Day.

August 16th, 2009.





Check out this incredible kid......



His name is Elijah Root. And I love him more than words can say.




He turned 8 this year. I have known this sweet boy for 8 wonderful years. And I cannot believe how old I am getting.


I still remember the night he was born.....



I was in Florida on a business trip. I had just gotten my first cell phone (but this was before the amazing invention of texting)... and I would call my Mom every 30 minutes to get updates on his arrival. Except for that we had no idea if Kristen was having a boy or a girl.... so the anticipation was tremendous.


And I ate a LOT of ice cream and doughnuts that night to calm my nerves.

Because as Kev always tells me..... Boys rule and girls drool. And the last thing I wanted was to have to deal with a lot of drool.

But those calories were worth every bulge on my figure.... because he is such a joy and pleasure (and drool free) . And have I mentioned SMART. Because he is so smart that he has done our taxes for the past two years. And teaches my Dad's math classes. And created the fountain of youth serum that he apparently only shares with Kev.





This kid is going to go places.... if you know what I mean. And you better believe that I'm going to tell every one that I know that I'm related to him.





Because I will be so proud. And not because I need constant attention.



Elijah Root Valter..... HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY!!! We love you SO much!

A Belated Birthday Post

August 9th, 2009.



Yep. Almost a month ago, my brother in law celebrated a birthday. And I was no where to be found.



My life is complicated. Especially since the economy sucks.



Anyhoo. I told him "happy birthday". I made a delicious dinner in his honor - that me and Kevin ate by ourselves. And I thought about him and figured up how old he is now. And how I don't want to associate myself with any one under the age of 30.



I don't have time for it. And there are SO many things that the "youngsters" today don't know.



And then I went to post about him... but got all wrapped up in New York, and cooking, and frogs. And never quite got the information put together.



But don't let that fool you.... because I LOVE this guy. And now I am going to tell you the reasons why. In numerical order.



And please don't think that I number things because I love math. Because I don't. But my Dad does and he refuses to read this blog unless my statements are numbered.



So here goes....



1. He is a magician.


Now, let me just make it very clear that I typically do NOT like magicians. Magicians usually seem very devilish to me. And I don't particularly care for the devil. Because he is evil, mean, and well... he is the devil. Enough said.



But this magician is another story. And he wows me with his tricks. And makes me feel like I am on a great family vacation enjoying skit night with the people I love most.



And actually if you remember correctly... that is just where we were and just what I was doing when he performed. And it was awesome.



#2. The Motorcycle Man.


I also do NOT like motorcylces. AT ALL. They are dangerous and evil. Just like the devil. But this guy apparently loves the thrill and excitement of riding such a massive bike around town. And who am I to take away his fun.



And I'll just be honest here. His bike is pretty cool. He stores it in our garage some times and I love to sit on it and sip lemonade. Commando.



For future reference..... it is probably NOT in your best interest to let us "watch" things for you. We are pretty crazy and devious.



3. He wishes he lived in Mexico.



We took him there once. To Mexico. And he tried so hard to fit in. Unfortunately, their hats are too small. And their service is horrible. And their food is too expensive. And their portions are too tiny. And their bathroom is closed for renovation.



Wait... Am I talking about Mexico the country... or Mexico the place in Epcot where we "ate" dinner and had a miserable time? I'm sure they both would fit my description. Which is why I stick to Taco Bell and call it a day.



4. He loves Kid Rock.


The singer/rapper/country artist/ lover of "hos". At least that is what his shirt says. And who can blame him. I love me some Kid Rock too. He makes some incredible beats. Kev and I can perform his songs like no other. It is truly a sight to see......



But most importantly.... he married my sweet sister Kristen. They have been married 1 1/2 years. And we think he is great!!



So... happy belated birthday JC!!! We love you and wish you all the best!

Getting Caught Up

I am SO far behind in SO many things. Like sleeping, shaving, bathing, and sleeping. Oh... and blogging. Which is killing me because you know I have so much to say. But this week has been a doozy ( not sure how to spell that word because I don't think it is a real word and probably should not even be typed.. let alone said). And I can sum up this week in one word....

WORK.

Let's just say that it was a very important week for me and it involved a lot of bleach, paint, sweat, and breaking scissors off in locked doors.

But I survived. And all is well. And I'm better for it.

I think.

At least I know that I am exhausted for it. Which is why I am "getting caught up". On everything. Like sleep, blogging, sleep, recorded tv shows, emails, and sleep. And maybe shaving if I feel up to it later.

It's a pretty big job.

Here is what I have learned this past week.....

1. I am married to Benjamin Button. I've actually known that Kev aged backwards for a long time now... but didn't know it was really a possibility until I saw the movie. It confirmed that I wasn't crazy. And that just because Kev has had a few "hair-do" changes... he continues to get younger and younger.

I'm screwed.

2. I've also learned that bleach, Simple Green, CLR, and soft scrub mixed together bleaches out a gray linoleum floor, gives me a headache, and makes me forget my middle name. And did I mention gives me a headache.

Oh yes... I did mention that already. Please excuse my repetitive statements as the above combination also gave me some major brain damage.

3. I love skinny/slim leg jeans. Like really LOVE them. They make me walk faster and kick higher because I don't have to deal with the extra "boot cut" fabric. I felt like a Charlie's Angel yesterday. A Jaclyn Smith/Farrah Fawcett angel. Not the Lucy Lu/Cameron Diaz kind.

4. Hudson's Smokehouse is OPENING. ON. HARBISON. TODAY!!! This means fried okra any day of the week. And mac n cheese. And brisket. And happiness.

5. And the MOST IMPORTANT learning of all...... well, not actually a learning.... but something I have been waiting for FOR NINE MONTHS....

IS THE BIRTH OF BABY LILLIAN!!!!! My sweet cousin Angela who writes "The Gallup Family" blog is giving birth as we speak!! I am soooo excited that I can't stand it. You better believe that I will be posting the sweet baby girl's picture as soon as I get it......

This is a picture of her beautiful pregnant self yesterday......

We love you Clay and Angela!! And sweet baby Lillian Marie. I can't wait to meet you!

Coming soon..... Lots of posts that will get you caught up on my life!