Easily Entertained

Entertainment.



It comes cheap for my family.



It doesn't take much to get our attention. Make us laugh. And make us blow milk out of our noses.



Because we are laughing so hard.



Except for I don't drink milk very often. Which is why my bones are so brittle.



I have, however, spit my drink across the room upon laughing. But that may or may not have been because I was trying to see how far I could spit. And not because I couldn't contain my laughter.



Anyway....



My childhood was full of imagination. Full of taking something simple and creating hours of entertainment.



We all (siblings) have taken this imaginative quality and carried it on in to our adulthood. Which ensures the children of our family have the entertaining trait.

Kev has it too. Whether he admits it or not.

And that brings me to the point. The point of this post that explains what so easily entertained us. For hours.



Stickers.



You know the irresistible little random designs that you can stick where ever you feel like it.



Like on Kev's workout equipment. Or his car. Or his bathroom mirror.



Kev hates stickers.



I love them. And am amazed at how one little sticker can make a child's day. A smiley face, a star, a unicorn, or a stamp. Yes, stamps. They are adult stickers. And I smile every time I stick one on an envelope.

I used to have a sticker book. A book where I could collect all kinds of stickers and keep them in one place. To show off to anyone who would listen. Even if they wouldn't listen........ I would just run after them and force them to look at my book. Until they pinched me and told me to leave them alone.

I have been pinched multiple times. It is not so bad.

So, stickers were brought to the beach house. And yes. I am still telling stories from the beach house. And I will probably be telling them until I turn 80. Because there is so much to tell.

The stickers were brought for the Settles' skit. Remember this....



They used them to make "chin faces". And then sang a song.

Cute idea.

Then skit night ended. But we had not seen the last of the stickers.

Because they showed up here.....


And here....

And we laughed and laughed. And high-fived each other. Just for kicks.

Until they showed up here.....

And everyone had to go in to a "time-out" until the chaos could be brought to order. Even though it was my Dad who had gotten out of control.

And technically he is the man in charge.

Except for that he acts just like one of the kids.

And now you know why I don't act my age.

Isn't there a saying that goes... "You are only as young as you act"?

Or maybe it is something about how you feel. Which doesn't work in my favor. So, let's speak of it no more.

And that about wraps up this post. Except for this important message....

Stickers. An endless form of entertainment. Go buy some. It will brighten your day.

But don't take them to a Switzer family gathering if you are offended by inappropriate behavior.

A Peak Into Our "Middle of the Night" Life

Your Welcome.

Because I know when you read the title you were thanking me. Out loud.

Why do I always look so haggard in the mornings?

Why does Kev always look so fresh faced?

Why are our next door neighbors always running their electric table saw? I have a bad feeling that it is to cut up body parts. Or pieces of wood in to the shape of animals to put in their front yard.

I should probably learn to mind my own business.

But sometimes my business is no fun.

Anyway. Where were we?

Oh yes... I was finally going to answer your many questions of what I do in the middle of the night.

And it is NOT sleep.

Because I am ridiculous. At least that is what Kev tells me.

I try. Believe me. I try so hard. I go to bed around midnight. I get in my most comfortable position. I close my eyes and I fall asleep.

For about 30 minutes.

If I'm lucky.

And then my eyes fly open. My mind starts racing. And the couch calls my name.

I've tried breathing exercises. Tylenol PM. And.... well, I guess that is about it. Apparently, I give up to easily.

Kev has tried giving me pep talks about sleeping and how it is good for me, tucking me in so I'm comfortable, always keeping the sheets fresh and clean, and playing the harp.

Not really on the harp thing. But if he did.. it would be hella cool.

Sometimes, I go for days without sleeping. Sometimes a whole week.

One time Kev made a chart. To keep track of my sleeping. He said I would receive a star every time that I slept through the night.

Without wetting the bed.

Ok - not really wetting the bed. Even though I have asked him if it is ok. Because it sure would make my life easier to not have to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.

Except for I am already awake. So it doesn't really matter.

But the star chart..... It stayed pretty empty. I received NO prize at the end of the week. And Kev gave up.

And now he is so used to my comings and goings in the middle of the night... that he usually doesn't even notice.

So, for your enjoyment, here is a peek in to a night at the Snyder's residence......

It is a plain old Sunday night. I have to be at work at 8am. I have to be up by 6:30am... at the latest.

It is 1:30am.

That means that it is actually Monday.

I put together a post for my blog.

I watch a little tv. TLC, Food Network, or Bravo.

I read the latest Paula Deen magazine.

I pull out my check book and write a couple of bills.

I think about all of the things that I need to do on my day off this week.

And then I think about how I will probably not get the majority of them done.

Because I would rather swim.

And then I look out the kitchen window on to the back patio....

And see FROGGLES!! or Toadstool. Or whatever the heck you want to call him.

He is looking at the pool with delight on his face. And probably hoping that the idiot girl who lives in the house does not come out with cardboard and try to rescue him when he doesn't want to be rescued.

He is so intense. Not moving a muscle. If frogs even have muscles to move. I don't really remember 9th grade science.

Or any science for that matter.

But I have to get a picture. At 3 am in the morning. It is a necessity. For me to be able to sleep.

So, I open the door to go outside. Hoping and praying that Kev doesn't wake up, hear the door open, assume I am a burglar, and tazer me. Even though he would probably enjoy tazering me as it would give me the opportunity to get some sleep. And would be payback for something annoying that I had done.

I creep out with my camera. I am barefoot. Pants-less. ( NOT pantie -less. I do have some dignity) And in a nightgown/t-shirt. ( It depends on how much I weigh as to what the item of clothing is).

And this is the picture that I take.....

Do you even see him? or her? Staring intently at the pool. Wishing the creep that is showing way too much skin would go away.

Froggles never moved. Not an inch. I took several pictures. All of them looking just like this. Pure photographic genius. I don't know why I ever thought I needed to take some photography classes.

I was so excited about my picture adventure. That I ran inside and texted Kev all the details. So, he could read about it first thing in the morning.

When I was driving to work. Half asleep. Chugging my mud tea. And practicing speaking intelligently with my "no sleep" slur.

I think I finally got in bed around 5 am or so. To take a little nap before my alarm went off.

Did I mention that Kev was sleeping like a baby the entire time. Or maybe more like Rip Van Winkle as babies tend to wake up all throughout the night.

Are you happy that now you know what I'm doing while you are sleeping? Or does it just freak you out?

It freaks me out. A lot.

But then so does most of the things that I do.

I would end this post here. And wrap it up with a closing statement. Except for the very next sleepless night (Monday) this is what I saw outside....

Froggles AGAIN! But this time he/she was staring right in to the kitchen. No more wishing to swim in the pool. Only wishing that the crazy lady will go away and never return. Hoping that giving the "stink eye" will scare her off once and for all.

Showing me who is boss.

I still went outside. Got pretty close and snapped this picture. And then I realized that maybe Froggles did think he was staring at the pool. But all of my flashes have blinded him and he has no idea where he is.

Then I told myself to get some sleep. And leave the wildlife community alone.

I am now wrapping this post up. It is 1am on Wednesday morning. Another sleepless night.

When I got home from work tonight (actually Tuesday night). Kev informed me that he found my check book in the pantry. The check book that I was using to write bills on Sunday night. The word that came to mind was "dementia". Because that is the only explanation for my bizarre behavior. That or "no sleep".

I wonder what else I have thrown in the pantry......

Thirty-Nine Years

I'm going to take a guess and tell YOU what I bet YOU thought this post was about.

My age.

OR

You laughed out loud because you thought I was about to lie about my age. Because I look so much older. Than 39.

And you were probably thinking that Kev looks old enough to be my son. And you were about to ask me if "my son" was going to help me out with my groceries.

And I was going to give you the stink eye. Forbid myself to ever shop in your grocery store again. And promise to stop laying out in the sun, stop drinking so much caffeine, and to sleep every now and then.

But then again. I'm just assuming. And every one knows what assuming does to you.

And I would hate for that to happen.

So, now I will tell you what "39 years" represents.

This couple's marriage.....

THIRTY. NINE. YEARS!

I haven't even been alive that long. Almost.

What an amazing feat. What a incredible accomplishment.

What a reason to celebrate!

And so they did. At the Polynesian Resort in DisneyWorld.

Now if you just fell out of your chair in absolute shock that my parents would go on a trip to Disney.....

Then you #1. Have something wrong with you. #2. Have not been paying any attention to this blog. #3. Probably need to get a "life alert" bracelet. Just in case.

Of course they went to Disney. Because that is where all celebrations must be held. If you want to have any fun.

The Polynesian is their favorite place. Of all time.

It reminds them of Hawaii, pineapples, and sneaking in to other people's pools and swimming where they don't belong.

They do things like that. For thrills.

First, they arrived... and got leid.....

Sorry. It was necessary for me to say that. It is expected of me.

They took the ceremonial hotel bed pose....

If I've only said it once... then I haven't said it enough. Hotel bed poses are a MUST in our family. We want to show the world where we slept on our trip and how many germs we rubbed on our bodies from the comforters.

Curly snack anyone?

Next up was their romantic anniversary dinner. A luau.

Dressing up like tropical flowers is encouraged.

Obviously.

They were even given a special moment to dance. In front of everyone. As they were applauded for their longevity. In marriage. Not on the dance floor.

And they had an amazing time.

A well deserved, incredible, amazing time.

Thirty-nine years is so hard to fathom. I am only on year 14. In 25 years I will be 101 and Kev will just be turning 50. I'm strictly giving our ages based on looks and total body health. And taking in to account that I seem to age like a dog.

Regardless, I hope to be dressing like flowers, dancing, and posing on beds. Even though it will be in the privacy of our home.

Because that is how we roll.

This loving couple is my Mom and Dad....

And we love them very much.

Congrats on your 39th year. Happy Anniversary!

My Favorite Things

FROG RESCUES.


True story. Kev rescued a frog. And his bravery and kindness made me fall in love with him all over again.


Even though it was my idea to rescue him. From the pool water.


His name is Froggles. This is not the same Froggles that used to live in our swampy pool a couple of years ago. However, frog names are hard to come up with. Give me a break!


We were introduced to him a week ago. I was walking past my kitchen window and saw him happily hopping around. Looking for a mate.


Animals seem to fall in love in our backyard. It must be something in the bird seed.



I waved. Welcomed him. And went on about my business.



Until last night....



Kev told me that Froggles was sitting on the top step of the pool and he was worried that he was going to jump in.

You see... even though a frog probably loves water. The chlorine would do a number on him.

Like 5 or 6.

And if you get that joke. Good for you. Because I don't know why people say "do a number" on something. It makes no sense. And does not scare me one bit.

However, what I mean to say is that poor Froggles would not appreciate all of that chlorine. And Kev would be cleaning frog out of the pool skimmer.

So, I came up with the idea to rescue him. Except for I could not remember how to pick up a frog with my bare hands without screaming and dropping him on the concrete.

Plus I don't like warts.

Since my sister's kids were no where to be found. Kev came up with the idea to scoop cardboard under his bum and gently help him out. Except for it is midnight. And we are in our pjs. And our neighbors are probably sleeping and dreaming away about all the great deals they are going to get at the flea market in the morning. And would not appreciate me screaming at the top of lungs when the frog jumps up in my face.

I'm a very nervous and jumpy person. It is a result of my caffeine addiction.

And fear of frogs jumping in my face.

So, after one try of me stretching my arm out as far as it would go. And Froggles hopping away from me.... closer to the edge.... Kev came out and took over. And in a matter of seconds Froggles was happily hopping away back to the grass. Thankful for another day. Not that he actually said that... but I'm pretty sure I saw him look over at us and wink.

And now that I've done a little research on frogs. I realize that Froggles was actually a toad. And it is even harder to come up with a nickname for a toad. Which is why I hope we never meet again.

WICKLES.



Ignore the blurry, poorly taken picture. It doesn't do these delightful treats justice.



Have you ever heard of them? They are the best pickles you will ever eat. Ever.



I discovered them at Vera's Veranda in Lexington. It is my favorite place to go for lunch.

On the plate... they just look like a regular old pickle. A pickle that you may or may not eat depending on how much room you have left in your stomach.

But that name.... Wickles. It just makes me so happy to say it. And for that reason, I had to see what it tasted like. And I've been hooked on them ever since.

These pickles have some kick to them. And by kick... I mean the strong flavor of them goes all up in your sinuses and makes you scream "howdy". At the top of your lungs.

And then Vera makes you eat outside.

I like eating outside.

So, I assumed that they were a special treat made especially for this amazing lunch spot/gift shop. And I would go there specifically to get them.

Until I found them at Publix. And not only do they have the Wickles Pickles. But they have banana peppers, relish, and jalapeno peppers.

And my life just became complete.

Kev loves them just as much.... if not more. He is a pickle eating fool.

He added this great discovery to his list. His list titled "Reasons I married Kim". Just in case he needs to remind himself. And it just so happens that "Discovery of the most delicious pickles ever" made it to the top.

I'm pretty sure that means that I secured myself another year.



P.F. CHANGS.



You are lucky. You get two food places/items this week.



Because I am hungry.

Always.

This place was another great discovery of mine as we have not always been fans of Asian cooking.

I went there once on business. And had the most delightful shrimp fried rice that I've ever had.

This place is classy. Which means it is cat free. Which gave me the encouragement to try some other dishes. Which made me fall in love with the place.

After trying multiple dishes off of the menu. On multiple visits. I decided to bring some home for dinner. Unfortunately, we do not have this delightful restaurant in Columbia. So, it has to sit in the car for at least an hour if not more before it is served to Kev. And he still loves it. Even when it is lukewarm and smells like my car.

And we have been some Asian food eating maniacs ever since.

After all... my name is Kim.

I DID NOT... Never... Forget Father's Day!

Father's Day. June 21, 2009.

We ate too much. We laughed too much.

We celebrated our Dads.

Too much!

I kid. I kid. Too much.

It is in my genes. I got it from my Dad.

You can never celebrate your Dad too much.

Father's Day was the day after we got back from the beach. And my original plan was to post all of my stories from the beach BEFORE I posted about anything else.

And I planned to post all of my stories within the week. Of returning from the beach.

Have you ever heard the saying...." Plan ahead... and God laughs"

Think about it. It is true. You never know what the next day holds.

Either that... or I am horrible at following through on my plans.

I like to blame others for my shortcomings.

It makes me feel better about myself.

Anyhoo... the point of this post is about Dads. Which I am not one. So, I should NOT be typing anything about me. Even if I am starved for attention.

Except for I was the reason that this man became a Dad. I am his first born. The reason for his gray hair. The reason he wears ear plugs when I am talking out loud in the room.

I say things to embarrass him sometimes.

Girly things.

Like unicorns, glitter, and pink.

At least that is what he wishes I would say.

It is the burden of having five daughters.

Inappropriate conversations.

My Dad also goes by another name. Gran.

He is a Grandfather to five children. A Dad to six children.

And a Father-in-Law to three children.

I mean adult men.

And we all love him VERY much!

We celebrated him with a cookout at my parent's house. My Dad grilled up some delicious steak, chicken, and shrimp kebabs. Mom made some fabulous sides.

And I made him a card. With an old picture of Shannon and me scream crying on Father's Day. I'm sure for no reason. Maybe our bonnets were too tight. I wish I could share the hilarious picture with you. But I don't know how. Which is why my Dad is re-creating our faces in this picture.....

Scream crying actually looks pretty funny if I do say so myself.

We were also able to go to dinner with Kev's Dad that evening. It was a very eventful evening at the "coolest" hangout in Lexington. Fatz Cafe.

Let's just say that SOMEBODY's strap broke on their dress. And SOMEBODY wasn't wearing a bra. And SOMEBODY has NO business going out in public.

Especially on Father's Day. With a broken dress strap.

The dress is now laying on the floor of my closet because of it's unworthiness to hang with my other belongings.

And how in the world did a post about Father's Day seem to get back to me/myself/and I again.

I need help.

..................................................................................................................................................................

We love you Dad and Glenn! Happy Dad's Day!


"Anyone can be a Father, but it takes someone special to be a Dad"

A Sour Sixteen?

Sour? or Sweet?

What do you call it when a guy turns 16?

I mean... the guy that I am referring to is pretty sweet.

But guys are opposite from girls. Most of the time.

However, having a sour sixteen party doesn't sound like much fun.

And we had a TON of fun at this guy's party.....

This is Michael. or Mike. or Mikey. or Mr. Muscles. He is our nephew. Our very first nephew. The reason that we became an aunt and an uncle. And we have officially been in our roles for 16 years.

And that makes my dentures hurt.

But we love this kid.

I mean .... guy. SO much.

And for the record... we love his girlfriend, Sam, too.

Mike has grown in to a wonderful person. A person we can't get enough of.



He is so much fun to hang out with. He keeps us entertained. He makes us laugh.

It is great that we love him so much because he will be responsible for taking care of us when we are old.

But don't tell him that just yet.

It might ruin his day.

And he definitely deserves an incredible day.

To be honored as a big brother, son, grandson, nephew, cousin, and friend.

So, I guess that "sweet" is the right terminology for his 16th. And I mean "sweet" in the coolest way.

Mike. We wish you a million tons of wonderfulness for your sixteenth year.

Happy Birthday.

Skit Night

Skit ~noun ~ A short theatrical sketch or act. Usually comical.



USUALLY?



My family doesn't know any other way to be.



And thus begins another tale from my childhood........



A tale in which skits were a part of every week. Like baths and brushing teeth.



In fact, I think skits were performed more often than we took baths and brushed our teeth. But this post is not about our cleaning habits. So let's move on....



We were constantly having impromptu performances to show off our talents to one another. It would not be out of the ordinary to peer in to a window of our home and see the following....



Kim (me) - showing off my Girl Scout badges - with details

Shannon - playing the piano

Holly - dancing a jazz routine ... costumes included

Kristen- doing a cheer or a gymnastics move

Dave - playing the tuba

Bethany - ballet dancing

Mom - singing

Dad - telling jokes and clogging at the same time



Yes, we were a talented family (?) always on the ready to perform whether you liked it or not.



And I haven't even told you about all of the plays we put on for each other and the neighborhood. We even sold tickets. Door to door. And our neighbors ACTUALLY paid to see us perform.



I tried that the other day. In Gaston. Just for old times sake. Let's just say that it resulted in things being thrown in my face. Such as boiled peanuts, banjo strings, pork rinds, and shot gun shells.



It's a tough world out there. On my street.



Enough about that.....



On with the show.....



We came up with the idea to have skit night. For old times sake. Elijah was the skit coordinator. He approved or denied the skits as they were presented to him. And created the show agenda including an intermission.



And let me just tell you right now...



THIS WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE TRIP!



I seriously laughed so hard. And enjoyed every single second of it.



It all started with my parents.....

They performed "Cowboy Buckaroo". Complete with costumes and choreography.

They worked on this routine for MONTHS! And it did not disappoint.

My Mom had absolutely no idea that my Dad's wooden horse was inside his pants.

UM...That sounded weird. But I meant literally. You can see it in the picture.

The laughter could be heard from miles around....

And then there was Elijah....

This cute little "stranger" told some jokes. Hee Haw style. With his Mom....

Such a precious performance. One that we tried to recreate throughout the rest of the week.

"Well, Hiiiii Straaaanger!"

Then we had Dave and Elijah tell some interesting Presidential facts....

Then Bethany and I performed "You are my sunshine" upside down chin singing style....

Our performance names were "Taco" and "Friola"......

The Settles family performing an original song "Oh my Daddy" upside down chin style.

Obviously, this form of entertainment is very popular in my family.

After intermission.... We moved outside to the porch.

This was were we experienced a "Chicken Tetrazzini" cooking class.....

This "class" was performed by Kris and Dave. What you may or may not be able to see is that Holly and Laura are crouched down behind them. And are the "arms" of this operation. Dave and Kris had no idea what the girls were going to do. They just had to ad-lib based on what the arms were doing.

After getting strawberry glaze, salsa, flour, and whipped cream smeared in their face.... while drinking glasses of milk..... our family was laughing and clapping Jerry Springer style.

That is a great way to describe us. A Jerry Springer audience.

And last but not least......

We had J.C. The Magician.

He seriously did some amazing magic tricks. I was blown away. Baffled. Amazed.

He included every one in the group. And put on an amazing show.

And we took pictures. And laughed. And clapped. And enjoyed each other so much. And ensured that this skit night would be an everlasting memory in our minds.

I demand an ENCORE!